Finding Yourself in a World That’s Always Telling You Who to Be

soniagornicz
7 days ago
3 min read

Finding yourself is rarely about discovering something new.

More often, it’s about unlearning.

Unlearning the voices, expectations, and rules you absorbed without realizing they were shaping you.

Because today, influence isn’t loud or obvious. It’s subtle. Constant. Well-designed.

The world is optimized to pull you outward

We live in a time where there is advice for everything — and most of it contradicts itself.

One day you’re told to:

biohack your sleep, your hormones, your nervous system
wake up at 5am, cold plunge, optimize, outperform
heal your body through discipline and protocols

The next day:

you’re told to soften, surrender, be in your feminine
stop striving, stop forcing, stop controlling
trust the flow

At the same time, you’re surrounded by:

“Make money fast” blueprints
passive income promises
reels telling you that if you’re still struggling, you’re doing mindset wrong

Then there’s food:

eat intuitively — but also track macros
go plant-based — you need animal protein
detox — but don’t stress your body
heal your gut — but don’t restrict
listen to your body — but only if it agrees with this expert

None of this is neutral.

Over time, it creates a quiet confusion:

“If I’m doing everything right, why do I feel so disconnected from myself?”

When self-improvement becomes self-abandonment

The problem isn’t information.

The problem is outsourcing your inner authority.

When you constantly consume:

health advice
spiritual rules
success formulas
embodiment trends

you slowly stop asking:

“What is true for me?”

And start asking:

“What am I supposed to want, eat, heal, become?”

Even practices meant to help — like biohacking or embodiment — can become another way to override yourself when they’re driven by fear:

fear of falling behind
fear of not healing fast enough
fear of not being feminine correctly
fear of not monetizing your life soon enough

At that point, the body doesn’t feel supported. It feels managed.

Why your inner voice feels quiet

Your inner guidance didn’t disappear.

It got drowned out by:

constant stimulation
urgency culture
comparison
contradictory “expert” voices
spiritual ideals that ignore the nervous system

The more external input you consume, the harder it becomes to hear your own signals — especially if you’re sensitive, intuitive, or already dealing with health or nervous system challenges.

And so you begin to doubt yourself:

your pace
your needs
your limits
your desires

Not because they’re wrong —but because they don’t match the narrative you’re being sold.

What listening to yourself actually feels like

Internal guidance is not dramatic.

It doesn’t come as:

urgency
pressure
“this will fix everything” energy
fear of missing out

True guidance feels:

quiet
steady
repetitive in a gentle way
relieving rather than activating

It often sounds like:

“I don’t need to optimize this.”
“This advice might work for others, but not for me.”
“I need simplicity, not another protocol.”
“I don’t want to rush my healing or my success.”

If something leaves your body tense, overwhelmed, or hyper-focused on outcomes — it may be popular, but it’s not aligned for you.

Finding yourself means tolerating uncertainty

One of the hardest parts of finding yourself is letting go of certainty.

Because certainty is what:

rigid diets promise
fast money systems sell
biohacking culture thrives on
spiritual formulas rely on

But your body doesn’t speak in absolutes. It speaks in responses.

Learning to trust yourself means:

being okay with not having the perfect plan
allowing your needs to change
choosing what supports your nervous system, not your image
moving slower than the algorithm rewards

This can feel uncomfortable at first — especially if you were taught that safety comes from control or external validation.

Coming home to your own authority

Finding yourself doesn’t mean rejecting the world.

It means relating to it differently.

You can:

enjoy social media without letting it define you
learn from others without overriding your body
explore healing without forcing outcomes
desire abundance without rushing your nervous system
embody femininity without turning it into another performance

You stop asking:

“What should I do to become someone?”

And start asking:

“What supports me in being who I already am?”

The quiet truth

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are not failing at healing, embodiment, or life.

You are simply living in a world that profits from keeping you slightly disconnected from yourself.

As you turn down the noise — even a little — something changes.

Your inner voice doesn’t shout. It doesn’t rush. It doesn’t sell you anything.

It waits.

And when you finally hear it again, it won’t tell you how to optimize your life.

It will simply guide you back into it.